Why am I Paranoid

I have spoken to some of you privately and 90% of you respect me and my wishes for privacy without question. To me, you are truly honest and respectable people worthy of a friendship. However, you always have that small amount of people, that 10% who will always, without fail, try someway to either be pushy or just downright disrespectful. I have wrote blog posts, tweeted, and even mentioned this in private messages, but I’m going to say it again. I’m an extremely private person, and my choice to be nudist is not one that is shared with many people I know, and those I have shared it with think I’m weird. I’m ok being weird but I don’t want to be chastized or ridiculed for it, so I remain private.

Like I’ve said before, I have been “found out” and basically publicly embarressed over my desire to be naked as much as I can, and my pictures were exposed to numerous people in my family…including my in-laws. Yeah, that’s been a hard one to overcome even five years later. As you might guess, it’s really hard for me to openly share pictures of myself which would link me to online profiles or a quick Google search. At one time pictures of me from nudistfriends, or some similar “nudist” social media site came up on the first page of a search result. I had forgotten about this site and the pictures on it, and one night it was brought to my attention in a rage of fury that I was naked online! “We just moved here! Look what would pop-up if our new neighbors wanted to find out who we are?! They would easily find you in all of your glory flaunting it around!” And on, and on, and on, and on… You get the point. So, at that point three years ago I made it a decision to scrub myself from the internet as much as I could because it wasn’t worth me to fight a battle I was clearly going to lose. It kind of makes me sad telling this story though. I can’t help but think about what I’m missing out on if I was able to be myself in real life like I can be online. Sigh. Anyway, to the point of my writing…

Over the past couple of weeks I was going back through my Twitter DM’s to see who had texted me and who I had failed to reply back to. I didn’t want to be that rude bitch and just ignore people. There is one exception to that…if I get random dick pics of erections or ejaculation, that is a certainty your message will be ignored and deleted. If I wanted dick pics I would either a) ask for them, or b) do my own search for dick pics I liked. Also, if you can’t speak english then I can’t really converse with you, and, well, there’s no point unless you want to chat via meme’s or gifs…which I’ve done with friends before. hehehe.

While trolling through my DM’s and trying to catch up to at least say “hi”, I came across a suspicious account who just said “Can I ask you something please”. I looked at their profile and it was blank. First red flag. The Twitter handle was generic with no real meaning behind it. I did a little bit of investigating, and although this handle was english, my investigation turned up similar type usernames originating from Turkey. Was this a Turkish predator trying to see what they could get? Maybe. Could have been someone from the US. I have not been able to confirm either yet, but I’m still working on it. So, with my curiosity getting the best of me, I replied back with “Sorry, just say this. What did you want to ask me” just to see what I would get. It didn’t take too long for a reply to come back with I’m intersted in trying nudism but I am nervous”, and before I could get a reply back I got “U m or f”. Second red flag. With almost 100% certainty the first questions a predatory man will ask is: Are you male or female? How old are you? Where do you live? I politely said I was female and I was curious what bothered them about nudism. The conversation went on a bit and this person said their name was Nicole and she was 21. Okay, Nicole is a pretty common female name, which is what I would have expected. Something ambiguous and hard to actually identify.

We conversed back and forth for a bit over the course of a week or so. This “Nicole” kept asking escalating questions about how happy I was in my marriage, did I have kids, and even went as far as saying they want to meet up with me because they are bisexual. “Nicole” wants to bring a guy friend for a threesome. Of course, the whole time I’m playing along with this knowing in all honesty this person is essentially a fraud. The conversations went on they even turned a bit to the nasty side, which I had to end real quickly. Also, this person kept asking about my kids, ages, girl or boy, etc, and this was getting a bit too much for me. I basically said leave my family out of the conversation. Honestly, if you’re trying to engage and escalate a conversation into sexual one, then why the fuck are you trying to bring someones kids into the conversation? Really? I will go to jail over my kids, so back the fuck up, bitch. 🙂

The longer the conversation went on with “Nicole” the more suspicious I got of their intent, and I knew at some point they would weasel into the conversation a way to get nude pictures of me. I was 100% guaranteed this would happen, and sure enough it happened. “Nicole” was a bit embarrassed of her lady bits because she had “medium sized lips”, and natrually I talked to “her” about it for a bit, and then the question came…”could I see what you looked like?” Just as I had expected. I was ready for this and I had a couple of generic stock photos that were free licensed. I mean, I don’t want myself exposed and flying across the internet, and I know a lot of others don’t either. I blocked out the face or any identifying markings, and cropped on the image to let it have the appearance of being more authentic. “Nicole” bought the pictures and, like expected, “she” said I was beautiful, wished we lived closer together, blah, blah, blah.

At this poing you’re probably think “that is so deceiptful and manipulative”, and “how could you play someone like that”. For one, I was extremely suspicous of this person and knew about how this would play out. It’s not my first rodeo dealing with creeps, but I did this primarily to prove a point. After a couple of more lines of conversation things pretty much went dry. They had asked me for a booty pic, which I declined until I saw a picture of them. I was told maybe Friday (tomorrow) after “her” friend visited to try nudism with “her”. Well, after I denied this person another pic, I waited for a response but nothing really came through. The next day I was blocked from their profile or sending them messages. This predatory person got what wanted, and when I didn’t give them anymore they moved on to the next victim.

Here is the point I am trying to make with this story. I have been bitten by this before, so I am naturally suspicious and skeptical of various people. I have gotten to be pretty in tuned to when I think I am being preyed on, and I generally take steps to mitigate this. However, a lot of others have never really experienced this or are oblivious to what goes on, and I wanted to share my story with a real example to help illustrate the issues we face. I think what bothers me the most is how this could have affected a woman wanting to try nudism for the first time, and genuinely thinking they may have found a friend or someone to support them. Actions like this are pretty much guanteed to scare off any female, and will lead them to believe nudism is just a cesspool of perverts and predators. There can be too much uncertainty and fear they will be used only to get pictures, and it’s not fair for them to be denined something they want to try. It is extremely unfortunate the small percentage of people out there have the ability to control what others do or think by their malicious actions toward women. It’s more than unfortunate…it’s downright infuriating!!

Alright, enough of my soapbox rant. I know this happens to women on a daily basis, and I am so sorry for anyone who has gone through something like this. It doesn’t take much for someone to spread your pics or fake stories about you online, and that mess can be nearly impossible to track down and clean up. I prefer the proactive route to just avoid it altogether. Honestly, I’m a little envious of those of you who are able to be public about your life as a nudist, travel the world on nakations, or actively blog and share details about you without fear or worry of any repercussions. However, for any of you who are reading this and are intereseted in being a nudist, then I want to encourage you not to worry. No one says you have to post, share, or prove yourself to anyone out there that you are an authenic nudist. Here are a few questions to ask yourself to see if you’re a real nudist or have nudist tendencies:

• Do you enjoy being naked?
• Does it feel natural to be free of textiles?
• Do you enjoy doing activities normally done with textiles on naked?
• Are you naked as often as possible?
• Do you find nudity to be sexual?

These are just a few questions to ask, but if you said yes to all but the last question, then I would say you can call yourself a nudist. Don’t let a few scare you away when it’s something you can enjoy privately, in or around your home, and it’s something you can do alone, if desired. Never feel you have to validate your nudist life to anyone by proving or sharing pictures. Just enjoy being naked, and live naked as much as you can.

Get naked, live naked,

Alexis